She left.

Yeah that's right. She left.

The hardest part was watching her leaving at the airport. I was there, keeping my tears inside. While walking outside, people were looking at me, staring at my tears.

In the car, driving home, i couldn't stop myself. Watching in the mirror, i couldn't see her face anymore. She wasn't driving home with me. She wasn't staring outside like she did two weeks ago.

She wasn't telling her dad on the phone that in Venice it was hot and that she just landed and got her bags. She wasn't there.

When i got home, i took the keys of the bedroom, and i ran to it. I started crying again. The bed was just how she left it, and the room was as messy as it was when she was there. I'm not saying that i was expecting to find something different, but it hurted anyway.

I fell on my knees, and cryed. While crying, i noticed the paper we wrote last night, and on the corner, i saw her: "I'll miss you so bad". I jumped on the bed, and cried more.

I couldn't stop myself. I just wanted to scream.

But i decided to go back home. While turning myself, i noticed her pink&black bracelet on the floor. I took it, and wore it. She will have it back if she wants.

Everything reminds me of her. EVERYTHING.

Now all i need is time. I have to realize that she was here with me, we met finally. She was REALLY with me.

Now she's flying home. In this moment she's in the plane. I looked at the sky, but nothing will take her back.

Piia, if you're reading, yes, I MUST BE EMO for sure! But i miss you so fucking bad. I miss sharing the computer, going at the park, playing cards with you, eating&drinking stuff.. Everything.

And you know what? i locked our room. And my mom just asked me to go there and get the nail polish remover. Guess? i couldn't open the door. And, when i finally opened it, i fell. EVO.

I miss you. So much.

When you'll come back, i will make it juicy just for ya. ;)

And please, let me tell you something i forgot to say at the aiport.

I love you.

with love,

your gay emo bitch (:

Just writing.

Today i don't feel so well. I just got a txt from my cousin, and i figured out how much i miss her already, even tho she left less that a week ago. We're like sisters. She's 21, older than me. But we grew up together, and not having her here near me makes me cry.
When she's home, in the summer she's often out with her boyfriend or with her friends, so we can't see each other so much. But i don't care, it's enough to see her 20 minutes in the evening. Even maybe when i'm on the computer and she comes to speak to me. It just feels so good. Now i miss that. I'm listening to her favourite songs. I wonder if she thinks about me, but i'm glad she txted me, it makes me guess she does.

She texted me 2 days ago too, but i forgot to answer, because i was sleepy when i got the txt. So i answered tonight.

Right in front of my computer i have a picture of me with her, my brother and my grandma. Looking at her face makes me feel good. It always takes her a lot of time to answer the txt, but i understand that.. i mean, she's with her boyfriend :P

OH, i forgot to tell where she is. She's at a sea place at 1,5 h from here working. She's not studying anymore.

She'll be back in 2 months, i must wait her, there's nothing else i can do.

I wish i could tell her that i miss her, but we've never been too emotional, so i won't.

When i said her goodbye, i hugged her, and she wasn't looking at me, and she left fast. When we were about to leave her she started whining saying that she didn't want to leave and stuff like that. That killed my breathing.

OH, she answered (: